Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Trying to jump-start myself

I don't want to let this blog fall through the cracks! I need to get better about posting, and I want to start taking pics of my food too (how many times must I say that before I actually put my ass in gear and do it??). There's something strangely voyeuristic about seeing what others eat during the day...I'm not sure others feel the same way, but I'm subscribed to a couple of blogs that do that and it makes me feel a little more human to see how others eat.

I'm on an egg kick lately...I made a killer omelette this weekend and bought some Better'n Eggs on Sunday at the store to try out more things. This morning for breakfast I had a sandwich with scrambled eggs, green peppers, and pepperjack cheese (2 slices because I overestimated the amount of egg mixture I had, and I get weirded out by a high egg-to-cheese ratio).

I went to weigh in last night at WW, but my friend couldn't go and I'm too big a pussy to stay by myeslf, so I just weighed in and left. I lost 1.6lbs last week (or so that's what she told me...they often subtract wrong, and I haven't yet been back to check over her math). Even though I lost, I still cried on the way home...I have these little mini-pity parties every so often where I say things like: you'll never break the cycle; you've got well over 100lbs to lose, what's one pound a week? it'll be over 2 years at this rate before I'm to my goal; all my friends are getting married and having kids and I'm not even dateable because no man wants to give a second glance to someone who looks like me...talk like this is exhausting and not helpful, but I do it to myself all day. After talking down to myself for probably close to 20 years, it's a terrible habit to break.

My goal for this week isn't to eat X amount of calories or do X minutes of exercise...it's to stay positive. Small habits created one change at a time will amass to huge paradigm shifts...I can't just wake up one morning and expect myself to run 3 miles and eat everything "right" all day. Oh and my other goal is to pay attention to the blog more :D

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