1600 calories

I ate 1600 calories today. Using Sparkpeople again to track. I’m all for transparency, obviously, so here it all is…

I couldn’t get to sleep last night…I’ve literally lost sleep over the past few days over everything which effing SUCKS, but it is what it is. So, I slept through my alarm. I needed to run errands today so I favored leaving over eating. Hey, fewer calories, right?

I went several places and stopped at Panera somewhere in the middle of everything, getting French onion soup and half a mozzarella and tomato panini to bring home.

I had a piece of dark chocolate afterward. It’s heart-healthy and small, so don’t fuss at me.

The afternoon rolled around and I had 94% fat free popcorn as a snack…

…and did some crafting.

For dinner I made Gina’s mushroom risotto with a few tweaks alongside oven-baked acorn squash.

I cut it into slices (the wrong way, but I do everything bass-ackwards, right?)

Then I put EVOO, cinnamon, salt, pepper, rosemary, and sage on top and baked it.

Here’s my plate…

With dinner I had a new beer - Ichabod Pumpkin Ale…this stuff is pretty good!

With this bringing up the rear.

So, Panera and beer aren’t everyday indulgences, but other than that – anyone have qualms with what I ate today? I’m still upset over everything but have no right to be. Though I did look back over all my posts today (actually looking for smiley faces – they’re still not working for me ) and don’t see anything HORRIBLE – I didn’t eat an entire batch of brownies in two days or a pint of ice cream in one sitting. However, I’m taking this all as an opportunity to re-assess. If someone thinks having a cookie twice a day is “bad” and most of y’all agree, then I’m the one in the wrong and need to change.

Now I’m having issues with working on not only balancing healthy foods with occasional treats but eating for myself and not for those (few) who read the blog. It’s good that I have such scrutiny to answer to because I now have more accountability to be “good.” However, I shouldn’t be scared to eat something because I’m afraid some anonymous commenter is going to come out from nowhere and rip me a new one. I had a wonderful night last night – I stepped outside my comfort zone and went with one of my best friends to a Clemson Women’s Alumni event at a wonderful tapas restaurant in Columbia, I met some very nice ladies, and I got dessert at an amazing restaurant known for its desserts that I have wanted to try for years (after walking 6 blocks in heels). It was a food/health blogger’s ace in the hole to be able to write a post about that sort of thing. But I didn’t write it because I didn’t want backlash. I didn’t go overboard at all and was so proud of myself! I even went to bed hungry! But I didn’t feel like sharing yet. I’ve got to warm back up to being so open…you can tell from my voice that I’m still surly, and I don’t like that. I want to bounce back…I really do. Sorry for being pouty still…I’m about halfway there – at least I’m blogging my food again.