The Shred

(I love y’all so much that I’m posting a sans-mascara, post-Shred, uber-unflattering photo of myself.)

Holy crap.  I’m weak.  I don’t blame my shins for checking out on me…if my thighs can barely lunge/squat fully more than two or three times, how was I expecting my lower legs to carry me through runs?  Day 1 of Jillian’s 30 Day Shred kicked my ass.  I was proud that I made it through ONE 30-second (circuit?) of jumping jacks without stopping (it happened toward the end, too).  I’m taking my victories where I can get them.  PS – I wasn’t wearing shoes.  That probably hindered my performance just a tad. 

When I was done, I collapsed on the couch.  Then I raised up slightly to reach the remote on the other side of the coffee table and was too weak to lift myself up.  I fell back down, laughed at myself, then started to cry.  I can’t believe how weak I am.  I have SO MUCH WEIGHT to carry around every single day – how can my muscles be this weak?  I felt better when I heard that Twitter friends had the same experience, though.  That sounds kinda twisted, feeling better knowing that other people cried from discouragement after their first day of The Shred, but you know what I mean.  It feels good knowing you’re not the only one struggling, and that’s what this whole crazy blog/Twitter journey is all about. 

Maddy exhibiting the lazy version of “Downward Dog.”

When we got done, we took the dogs out, and I literally almost fell down the stairs EXACTLY like Dennis did after his first spin class in Run, Fatboy, Run.  I rewound this scene like 80 times and guffawed each time as he sails down the stairs on his face.  I love when people fall on/get hit in the face in movies.  And if you haven’t seen this movie, do.  It’s really good!

Yeah, that was almost me.  My legs were like Jell-o.

PS again – don’t be an idiot (best said in a Dwight voice) and have chili and a beer within an hour or two of attempting The Shred, even if it was vegetarian bean chili and a Bud Light.  The workout made me want to puke, and dinner made me want to puke.  Poor decision, Katherine, but congrats on being a rockstar and keeping it all down.

Anywho, I actually CRAVED fruit tonight.  I got tangerines today at the store and really wanted one, so that was my dessert.  I ate clementines last winter like they were candy and heard today on Twitter that someone found some in the grocery store, so I looked when I went out but only found tangerines.  They were very “woody” – a high insoluble fiber-to-fruit ratio.  Nevertheless, it was very good and just what I wanted.  I might just have another.

To those who have done/are doing The Shred, how often do you do it?  How long did it take for you to feel results or be able to move to the next level?  I felt like such a wimp tonight, unable to fully do Level 1, but I know I’ll be able to soon enough if I keep at it.  I’m discouraged and know I come across as being hard on myself, but I’m eager to see results and move ahead.  I HATE feeling weak, so I want to fix this, ASAP.