Formspring sheep

I’m SUCH a sheep! I hate jumping on bandwagons, but I totally did today. That anonymous “ask me anything” website has me by the balls.

http://www.formspring.me/LowFatKat

Go. Do it. Ask away. But please be kind. I do cry easily.

I thought I’d get emails alerting me when people had asked questions, but I didn’t (maybe I’m missing something in the settings?), so I was surprised when I logged in this evening to find two AWESOME questions waiting for me! Seriously, I was so scared of what I’d find at first, but I was so happy to get two very legitimate questions that I was very happy to answer! Pardon, but my answers got a little verbose.

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What type of diet are you on? I would love to lose 40 pounds, I'm currently overweight and need to lose. What do you eat, what can't you eat?

The diet that I'm on is essentially low-carb, [low-calorie, low-fat, higher protein]. The physician that I see has 4 different diet plans ranging from most restrictive (500 cals/day, all-shakes, what I'm currently doing this week as I need a kick in the pants) to least restrictive (eating in moderation, 1200-1400 calories).

I'll answer like I'm on my "normal" plan [edit – this is the 2nd most restrictive at about 800-900 calories/day]; I have 2 shakes a day and 2 meals a day [and I take vitamins and supplements]. My meals consist of lean protein and non-starchy vegetables. It's been hard for me because I was a vegetarian before doing this plan, and I feel like such a hypocrite, but I'll be going back to being a veg-head when I reach my goal weight.

I mix my morning shake with coffee (the shakes are actually good, by the way!) and usually have either a cold one (shake, not beer...boo) in the afternoon or a "hot chocolate" at night. Meals consist of a salad with chicken or chicken/pork/fish and veggies on the side. At this point, I can't eat any grains or starches (so no rice, beans, grains of any sort, potatoes, corn, legumes, etc.) and no dairy (I've been nibbling on cheese lately and got to where I was eating too much, hence me doing the kick-in-the-pants liquid diet for a week).

I'm not sure if I'll first reach my goal weight before switching plans to a less-restrictive diet, or if I'll switch when I'm close. When I went on a similar program before, lost a whole bunch of weight, then gained it all back, it was because I went straight from eating this restrictive diet and going right back to eating normally. I didn't "taper" back to less-restrictive diets and thus learn how to eat "normally."

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What scares you the most about meeting your weightloss goal?

I LOVE this question, because I thought about it twice today, and it actually stopped me in my tracks both times. It's so weird you (whoever you are!!) asked it, because I hadn't really thought of it before today!

Today on a whim, I tried on one of my favorite dresses from "back in the day." It's a size 14 from a "normal" store - the Limited, and I was expecting to get my arms/shoulders stuck halfway through then have to tear it back off. Well, it FIT. And I looked damned good, I have to say (might take a picture soon!) I have a couple of other "goal" dresses from when I was thinner, and as I was admiring myself in that size-14 dress, I literally stopped in front of the mirror and thought "well what happens when I finally fit into the others?" Almost like a "well, now what?" sort of thing. I've had these dresses in mind for years, and I'll be so excited when I fit into them, but there are other dresses in the world, and other accomplishments beyond fitting into them. I guess my view has been so narrow regarding my weight loss goals, that I'm worrying what will happen when I get there.

When I had lost weight before, fashion got kind of scary. I know what silhouettes look best on me now; I know what fabrics to avoid and what styles to embrace in order to flatter (read: HIDE) my figure. When I lost weight, all of a sudden I didn't need to make those safe fashion choices anymore. I had an endless ocean of possibilities to choose from when it came to clothes (my wallet and closet were my only limiting factors, of course!) I do believe that I've gained a better sense of fashion since the last time I was slim, so I hope I won't feel as lost as I do this time around, but it's still scary to essentially realize that everything you know about dressing your body is suddenly wrong.

The OTHER thing I'm worried about is something that Jen (http://www.priorfatgirl.com/) Tweeted about tonight. Here's what she said:

"100 pounds lost and I can only admit to struggling more than I did 2 years ago. Seems to be no "final" destination."

All these years, I've always thought "when I lose the weight, I'll be fine, everything will be perfect, and I won't have any problems left." Well, I've known that's not *really* the truth, but weight loss seems to have this mystical "things will be better when..." attribute about it. I've just written a guest post for Heather (http://thenheathersaid.com) that will go live soon wherein I talk about how blogging has slapped me in the face with reality. All of these fit girls whose blogs I read have to work HARD to maintain their weight. You don't just shed it and that's it - that's why I'm back in this position after having lost weight a few times already. I'm not naive enough to think I can go back to sitting around eating entire boxes of macaroni and cheese after I reach my goal weight, but blogging has opened my eyes to the reality of just how hard you have to work to keep it off.

So, short story long here, the thing that scares me about reaching my goal is: what if that's the easy part? What if I reach it within the next year and spend the next 60 years working even harder to maintain it? It's a harsh reality I'll have to face, because I'm beginning to really realize it's the truth.

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To whomever asked these questions – thank you! I really appreciate it! Ask away, guys!