Sugar Free’s the Way to Be

Yesterday I made a cake.  This cake.  For our friend Debbie’s birthday.  It had 3 different kinds of chocolate, real butter, and real cream.

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A brownie base, mousse layer, cake top, and ganache frosting.

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I made it, stored it in the fridge, and cleaned up the dishes…with my tongue.  Today, I had my one piece I requested Mom bring back for me (the party was at work)…

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…and tonight I ate more of the mousse and ganache that I had left over from yesterday.  I should’ve thrown it away last night.  Why on earth would I keep it?  If I keep it, I’ll eat it.  Case in point: I DID.  Not all of it, but some.  Enough that I’ve got a stomachache and a headache (I actually feel drunk right now, and it’s all because of that sugary crap), and I’m super mad at myself.  There was NO reason for me to keep those cake constituents when I knew in the back of my mind I was just keeping them to eat them.  It’s an old trick of mine – I’m “afraid” of throwing stuff away, and when I don’t throw it away, I just eat it.  OK.  I did it, I regret it, I’m moving on.

So along with my 13 by 26 challenge (which today’s setback might’ve totally screwed up), I’m giving up sugar.  It shouldn’t be a big deal – my current diet is should be sugar-free anyway.  This huge declaration of “I’m giving up sugar” should already be put into play.  However, sugar leads to sugar cravings which lead to BIGGER sugar cravings.  One little episode of slipping up led to even more episodes of slipping up, so I’ve got to nip this in the bud before it gets even worse.  My weight loss over the past few weeks hasn’t been nearly as impressive as it was a month or so ago, and I know it’s because I keep slipping up in small ways that snowball into bigger screw-ups.  It’s got to stop.

Earlier today after my one slice of cake, I had a sugar crash from hell – I could’ve laid down on the floor and taken a nap, it was so bad.  And now I’m sitting here with a post-sugar headache to rival that of a hangover.  So I’m catching up on Google Reader, and Mary has written a post about cutting sugar out of her diet.  I’m not sure I believe in “signs,” but I definitely took it as a cue to action. 

No more sugar.  No more random, undocumented spoonfuls of peanut butter out of the jar, no more mini handfuls of chocolate chips when I need a pick-me-up.  No more chocolate, no matter where I get it or in what quantities.  Also, no more alcohol!  I’ve had a few drinks in the past couple of weeks, and that’s a few too many!  I was perusing cake recipes tonight (coming down off my “I just baked a friggin’ awesome cake” confidence high) to make for my birthday in a couple of weeks, but I’m not going to bake one after all.  We’re going out to a tapas restaurant and a place with awesome desserts for my birthday, and that’s it.  I don’t want a big cake here at the house that I’ll have to eat for a few days to get rid of.  I want to practice the one-shot-and-it’s-done thing; I’ll have my slice of cake and be done with it.

I see myself falling down the same paths I’ve been down way too many times.  I can’t keep falling victim to my own tricks, because I’ll be 270lbs again and battling heart disease or diabetes or a gallbladder attack.  So here it goes – DETOX.

This sounds terrible, but please don’t leave a comment about how dangerous it is to let yourself do the things I’ve been doing, because I know, and I keep beating myself up about it.  It sucks so much to be chastised by others for the things you know you’ve done wrong.  I’m saying it in a public forum because I’m trying to be honest to y’all and to myself.  “Saying it aloud” is a lot healthier than other coping mechanisms I’ve turned to in the past, so I’m trying this for the sake of my sanity and for accountability.

It’s not enough to say “no more sugar” because that’s putting a lot of pressure on my willpower; I have to help myself by putting healthy habits to work.  I’ll be getting some healthy snacks to keep my hands and teeth busy when I’m craving something sweet instead, and I’ll be putting a few barriers between myself and my triggers (i.e., putting peanut butter and chocolate chips in multiple boxes; it’s not realistic to throw them away at this point since I’m not the only person in the house).

This post has dragged on long enough, and my headache isn’t getting any better, so I’ll end it there.  Does anyone else want to join Mary and me in kicking sugar to the curb?  Have you done this before with success?  What kinds of things did you do to ensure your success?

Comments

  1. I don't eat refined sugar anymore at all. I can tell the MOMENT I have some. I have had a tb of frosting last weekend when making a cake and instantly got a headache. I use xylitol and stevia.

    It's REALLY hard at first, but it's the best thing that I've done.

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  2. Yeah Kat! I'm glad you are doing this too. Kepa is with me so I don't feel totally alone but it's nice to have other support.

    I totally hear ya on catching the small tastes of food and pick me ups now before it gets out of control. It's crazy how fast things spiral out of control.

    We can do this though!

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  3. Picking at little pieces of food here and there is the hardest. This may seem weird but can I have the recipe for that cake? haha-it looks amazing.

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  4. ahh, sorry to hear about your stressful day.
    One suggestion I have is to buy frozen fruits for that sugar pick-me-up. I buy frozen blueberries, strawberries & mangoes, they're really good frozen! It's a yummy treat.
    But you are right, if it's in the house, you're likely going to eat it.
    Do you have a foodie friend you might be able to pass those things on to?
    Have a good rest of the week Kat!

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  5. Hi Kat. I totally do the same thing with leftovers I "might need" but really just want to eat...why do we sabotage ourselves so? The sugar ban should be interesting. Hopefully you'll blog about how it goes for you soon. I have recently tried to cut out artificial sweeteners in favor of sugar, so I'm kind of curious how it goes in the opposite direction.

    Anyhow, I just wanted to share that you were my blog highlight of the week. You can check it out at http://livingfitlovingfood.blogspot.com/2010/02/tuesday-blog-highlight-low-fat-kat.html

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  6. Uggh I hate throwing food out too!! I try to keep things out of my house that are known bingy foods like cakes, cookies, ice cream, pizza, etc. I save those things for special occassion and only try to keep just enough in the house for my house and I.

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  7. @Michelle - I was doing so well during the first month of this plan (even resisting it because it gave me a sore throat!), but over Christmas it all went to shit...I'd have a cookie or two a day, and I built my resistance (and thus dependence) back up. Since then I've just been going from one little sugary thing to the next, and I'm finally putting my foot down. I want to get back to that place where my body physically resisted sugar by giving me a sore throat.

    @Mary - I needed to do it, so thanks for the "call to action!" There've been too many instances lately where I was at a grocery store and grabbed a bar of chocolate so I could eat a little bit at a time, and I ate the whole stupid thing in one sitting - talk about spiralling! I've got to quit altogether, and this is the perfect opportunity! You're right - we CAN do this and we WILL!

    @Candace - It is...it's those few chocolate chips I snag during the day and the couple spoonfuls of peanut butter that are the high-ticket items that add up to so much, so fast. And that doesn't sound weird at all! I put the link up there, but here it is again: http://www.jasonandshawnda.com/foodiebride/?p=858

    @Freak for Fitness - Thanks for the suggestions! The plan I'm on right now doesn't have fruit yet, so I'll stick to tea and gum when I need something sweet. Unfortunately, I live at home with my parents while I'm looking for a job, so short of asking Mom to hide the triggers, I'm stuck with them in the house. I feel ok doing that, but I want to use it only as a last resort. I'll be honest with myself...if I sneak PB or chocolate today, I'll get her to hide them. Thanks for the comment and suggestion - I hope you have a great week, too!

    @sweettater - It. Was. AMAZING. So many people who tried it (it was so rich, slices were teeny - it went a long way!) said it was the best or rivaled the best cake they'd ever had.

    @Fallon - It's the stupidest habit ever! I've made Bakerella's cake balls before and kept the leftover frosting I didn't use. Why the hell would I do that? Recently I've been thinking a lot about self-sabotage...I'd like to learn more about different theories people have, because so far, I don't think I fit any of them (secretly being afraid of being thin, etc). I'm also reading an interesting book that kinda goes along with that, and I'll post about it when I'm done this week. Thanks for highlighting me!! I'm going to check it out now! :D

    @Amanda - I don't have those things in the house either, but lately I've been doing stupid stuff like waiting too late to eat while I'm running errands and then buying a bar of chocolate...and eating the whole thing. I could've bought nuts, or even pretzels - neither are on my plan, but they're a helluva lot closer to my plan than CHOCOLATE. Also, I went 2 months without eating peanut butter, but my recent sugar cravings have been too much and I've been eating a spoonful or two a day. So I've just gotta knock this out before it gets worse.

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  8. I'd like a piece of that cake please. And then I will give up sugar also. :)

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  9. First off, I can't believe I didn't know about your blog until now! ::wave::

    I'll have to read more about your plan because I've only read a couple things, but I have to say that for me, as a long-term strategy, keeping good dark chocolate around can absolutely save me from craving, say, ice cream or cake or cookies. Like Michelle, I try to avoid refined sugar in general, but a square of dark chocolate after dinner can really save me from feeling like "waah I can never have dessert, this sucks". Plus if I keep it nice and expensive, I'm not tempted to eat much of it at a time, haha.

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  10. @Abby - haha!! That cake would RUIN you for any cake you'd hope to have in your future. I guess it's good that I ended on that note, because I'll never need any more cake as long as I live. It's that good.

    @WWWannabe - Yep. I died and went to heaven. (I assume you're talking about the cake)

    @Erin - HIIII, friend! I did the same thing with dark chocolate for awhile; I got "fussed at" early on in the blog for eating too many "treats" - I'd have, say, a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich after lunch and another after dinner. Looking back, it's not the greatest strategy to use if you're trying to lose weight, and although I got all huffy at the time, the naysayers were probably right. I switched to Ghirardelli dark chocolate instead and it helped a good bit. Currently I'm trying to abstain from any "extra" stuff on a daily basis, but when I go back to "normal" eating, I'll probably employ the dark chocolate as a strategy. What's your brand/variety of choice? (Thanks for commenting, buddy!!)

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  11. hmmm...so I guess you don't want me to send any more Canadian Smarties, eh? :)

    Good luck girlie! I think once you get through a couple of days you will be golden!

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  12. @Jaime - any time you want to send me anything, I won't turn it down ;) I've already slipped up a couple of times, and I keep having cravings...I think it's time to take that next step and literally hide all my trigger foods. :(

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