Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Squashing my buts and onlys

I’m still trying to let go of negativity, but when you’ve been a “…but…” and “…only…” person all your life, it’s hard to let go and embrace the positives.  Here are snippets of some of the talk that’s gone on in this mixed-up brain of mine lately: (edit: I came back to add rebuttals to all the negative points – I’m not letting the “buts” and “onlys” have the last word!)

I biked part of the Palmetto Trail on Friday. 
But it was only 5 miles and 1.5 hours.
You had never biked on an unpaved trail before.  There were a few times you wanted to quit, but you kept going.  You ended up having a great time and can’t wait to do it again.

I got together with several of my oldest and dearest friends and our moms on Saturday night for a bridal shower.  I wore a cute dress and felt pretty good.
But I ate too much and drank too much, and my arms are still disgusting.
You could’ve consumed a lot more than you did, and you look and feel better than you have in years.

I ran 40 minutes on Sunday in South Carolina August heat and humidity at noon with a slight spiked-punch-and-sugary-treats hangover, and the longest I’ve ever run is 30 minutes.
But it was only 2 miles, not 3 like I had thought.
With all that working against you, 2 miles is pretty damn good.  With the right conditions, you can do 3.

I ran to the end of the trail I’ve been training on for over a year.
You still didn’t run the whole way there.
You’ve never made it anywhere NEAR that far on foot.  And you ran MOST of the way there and back.

Instead of driving, I biked to the post office yesterday on main roads, up hills I’m not used to, wearing a backpack full of packages to mail.
It was only 4 miles, and the packages weren’t that heavy.
Bottom line, you were scared but you did it anyway, and you’re proud of yourself for doing it.  Next time will be much easier, and pretty soon, you can bike on farther errands.

I’ve signed up for my first 5K on Friday night with Carla and Mark.
I’ve never run over 2 miles at once, and I really wanted to be able to run my “first” 5K.
You still might be able to run the whole thing, but it’s not the end of the world if you don’t.  Just have fun with it!

I’m going to Clemson’s opening football game on Saturday with some dear friends.
You’ll have to meet new people and answer the question “and what do you do?,” you might run into people from your past, and you’ll be sweaty and still pretty chubby.  Oh and you couldn’t find a date to take your extra ticket.
IT’S CLEMSON’S OPENING GAME WITH YOUR FRIENDS.  Everyone will be sweaty.  Shut up and have fun.  You’ll be tailgating with over 100,000 members of the Clemson Family! One of these days, you’ll be able to bring a date; just keep being positive…nobody likes a Debbie Downer.

I’ve made plans to do some fitness-y activities with a new-ish friend I’d like to get to know better.
I hope I don’t make an ass of myself trying to impress him.
Just be yourself and have fun…it’s a waste of time and energy trying to impress people.  At least you’re doing things for fun that always scared you in the past!

I’ve made plans to do some fitness-y activities with an old friend with whom I’d like to catch up.
I hope I don’t hold her back because I’m so out of shape.
You’re not as out of shape as you used to be…you can handle this, and she won’t judge you if you have to slow down.  You’re catching up during a walk, not over food and drinks – that’s a big step.

I’ve been doing lots of things out of my comfort zone lately and my life feels a lot richer because of it.
I’m still unemployed and I’ve gained 4 pounds this month.
The more you put yourself out there, the more you’ll get back in return.  You’ll find a job, and you’ll learn to balance social events with eating right.  At least it’s not 5 or 10 or more.  Keep trying!

It’s exhausting having all this swirling around in my head, so maybe getting it all out there, confronting it, thinking logically about it all, and crossing it out will help?  I just have to let those positive rebuttals WIN.  I already feel better having written it all down!

Carla passed along a book to me about perfectionism, Never Good Enough, but I haven’t cracked it yet because I’m trying to finish up some library books first.  Listing all that stuff above makes me realize how much I NEED this book right now.  The best I can do is do the best I can do.  I’ve just got to make sure what I’m doing really IS the best I can do and accept that as my definition of success.

Any “never good enough”-busting tips that have worked for you in the past?